Pirate Phrases to Help Get You Into a Fight
by Craig Nybo ~ November 25, 2009
Pirate phrases can be a valuable tool if you want to get into a fight. We can’t, however, recommend pirate phrases as a suitable method of getting out of a fight; that is best left up to steel, skin, and flying teeth. So we are going to recommend a few pirate phrases you can use, as well as a few weapons you can carry.
Pirate Phrases
Here are a few pirate phrases you can use in any bar, frequented by pirates, that are sure to start a good old-fashioned brawl. These are all authentic, either from pirate literature or from real pirates (note the citations).
- Beezelbub himself could hardly desire better company. (The Coral Island 213-14)
- The blood in yer veins is mother’s milk. Captain Jo, Martin Conisby’s Vengeance 33)
- Do you call that a head on your shoulders or a blessed dead eye? (Long John Silver & Tom Morgan, Treasure Island 44, Chap 8 )
- Hold your tongue and your whinin’ for them that’s at your beck and call, because I ain’t. (Purity Pinker, replying to the Lady Harwood, The Adventures of Long John Silver: Dead Reckoning” 20:57)
- I leave it to fancy where your mothers was that let you come to sea. (Long John Silver, Treasure Island, 164, Chap. 29)
Wieldy Weapons
Once the skin and teeth start flying, it is essential to use the tools of the trade to get you out of the scrap, to be the last pirate standing as it were. Below, you will find a list of excellent pirate weapons to add to your personal arsenal. Any of these weapons can be easily concealed under a long coat.
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We recommend the following weapons as part of your permanent wardrobe. With a bit of alteration, any long coat can be outfitted to carry all of these weapons at one time. |
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 Standard Cutlass |
The Standard Cutlass
No pirate worth his salt should ever be caught flatfooted without his cutlass. A cutlass, stashed in the reinforced lining of your long coat, can make all the difference when you are staring down the throat of a Spaniard. |
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The Scimitar
For pirates who want to add a little more flourish to their swordwork, the scimitar might be just the thing. A wider blade can be used for broad batting. Do you want the perfect, weighted slice? Turn the blade a quarter turn and apply plenty of elbow grease. |
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The Belaying Pin The primary use of the belaying pin is to crack the heads of would be insurgents, Spaniards, and midshipmen of the line. It is also useful to tie down ropes and rigging. |
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Cat-O-Nine Tails
Although the cat is usually not used outside the confines of usual crew disciplinary measures, it can be an invaluable asset in a brawl. With its light heft and bludgeoning abilities, not to mention its ability to scrape flesh from bone, it might be just the thing to get out out of any scrap (preferably on that you have started). |
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And for the Ladies: The Standard Pistol
2 standard match lock pistols can easily be stowed in the pockets of a long coat, or in the folds of a skirt. The sleek design and light heft of these weapons make them perfect for the ladies. Their function is exceedingly simple: point and shoot. |
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The Blunderbuss
For pirates who want to pack a wallop, it might be worth the extra cargo space and encumbrance to carry a blunderbuss. This intimidating tool offers three times the range of the pistol and added stopping power with up to a full inch and a half ball. |
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The High-Tech Grenadoe
Are you a smoking man? Perhaps you might consider smoking a cigar and carrying a pair of these sophisticated artillery weapons. If the health risks of smoking are too discouraging, you might consider weaving a few cannon wicks into your beard so you can be ready to light and launch at the first sign of trouble. |
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